well, i havent been really honest or very personal with you all. Mostly due to this being a makeup and lifestyle blog. However things are changing and here is a great place to start.
You all are aware i'm sure that i have been single for awhile now, as my previous relationship of 4 yrs came to an end this year. I have come to a few realisations recently and some of you will agree, others wont and thats the joy of free will!...smiles, i believe that a life that is directed by the desires of the mind, heart and the flesh (body) is one that is certain to let us down.
For years i have been filling the void, filling the void, filling the void... with study, with things i thought i loved, with people, with alcohol, with entertainment. Anything really to make my mind believe that i was capable of creating and sustaining my own long term happiness - in a world that is determind to create wrong thinking within me!...its like fighting a tsunami...impossible! I would always get so far, then i would backslide.
You know for an intelligent individual that worked real hard at self developing new habits that were effective in propelling my life forward...i sure had alot to learn!
Now some of you will be shaking your head right now but i can honestly tell you one thing; relenquishing control of my life to god, and asking and listening for his advice has transformed me. I have a peace and an assurity in everything that i have never known existed before. I no-longer feel the need to fill the void, to plan everything, get caught up in fear or emotions. God is always there to direct me, he has my best interest at heart, he knows my gifts my strenghts, my weaknesses and he fills me with so much love - my life is RENEWED. You dont have to be religious to experience this, just read his word, pray and ask him to be part of you...god wants nothing more than to show us how to have a fulfilling life on this planet - gee he wrote the manual to living...and yet we still dare to question his ability to know us? and what is right for us? Humans amaze me!
What i ask god for, he supplies - why? Because i believe in him, i walk in faith and obedience, and i trust him. I have lived a life without him! It brought me nothing but heartache, questions, and regret. Now i will never leave his side.God has my back - and he is the great provider. In every way. I cannot begin to tell you what a difference being close to god has made to my life, but it has profoundly affected every aspect of my life- my children, my joy, my inner peace, my understanding, my love for humanity, my ability to accept without judgement - and most of all the knowledge that the best way to bring others to god is not by preaching - but by simply letting his life shine through me...i cant help but share, god has moved me in ways far greater than words can express.He has brought me life - a future that looks greater than any i could have imagined.
be blessed my friends, where ever you are at in your journey, know that god loves you, for all you are and all that you cant see in yourself!